Do Your Friendships Give You Room to Grow?

“A true friend is someone who lets you have total freedom to be yourself.”- Jim Morrison. 

There are few things as satisfying as spending an afternoon with a cherished friend. Whether it’s spent discussing great ideas, reveling in silly shenanigans, or reminiscing about good times, friendship is undoubtedly one of the sweetest elements of life.

While initially we’re drawn to people for our likeness – like attracts like – as time goes on, (if we’re growing), chances are we aren’t going to grow in the same directions as our friends, and when you think about it, why would we? We each have our own unique desires and reasons that we’re here on the planet in this lifetime.

For many years, I ignored my inner voice that was pushing me in a different direction because I was fearful of losing my romantic relationship, and by extension, my group of friends. I believed I needed those relationships for safety, security and fun. After many years it became obvious the relationship wasn’t sustainable and when we parted ways, sure enough, I saw many of my friendships dissolve as well.

At first I felt a deep sadness of overwhelming loss, but that separation ended up being the greatest catalyst of my life, forcing me to seek new information and consider an entirely new way of being. Free from the unspoken agreements I’d made when those friendships were formed, I began to ask questions I never dared ask before and dream beyond the realm of what felt acceptable in my group. On my own, I discovered my creative self that was begging to be unleashed, but in the boundaries of my group, I never felt safe enough revel.

On the one hand, these unconscious agreements pave the way for trust and make it possible for a solid foundation to form. On the other hand, this tacit understanding allows little permission to venture off into uncharted territory because we’ve committed to being and behaving a certain way.

The reality is, most of these agreements are made before we even know who we really are at the core of our being yet. Chances are, if you’re embarking on a conscious path, your friends likely will change. When one navigates in a new direction, it forces friends (or family) to look at their own lives, which in many cases people don’t want to do. That’s perfectly OK.

The dissolution of relationships isn’t a failure; nobody is to blame. It’s simply the reorganization of your life so you can be better aligned with a track that helps you realize your destiny. Letting go, while remaining in gratitude for the good times you shared and the gifts those friends brought to your life, will make it easier to manifest new friends that are in a present time alignment.

After a few years, I began to attract new friends into my life that also put great value on growth, and a new unspoken agreement was made: I’m going to keep growing, and while I don’t know where this wild path to consciousness is taking me, I’d love to have you along. I’m happy to support your growth if you support mine.

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