For most of my life, I concentrated on what I wanted to achieve, conquer, or attain. To my surprise, and subsequent chagrin, I wasn’t as happy or satisfied as I imagined I’d be when I was successful in achieving, conquering and attaining where I’d set my focus.
As I sought information about the world and myself (clearly what I thought I knew wasn’t true) I recognized we’re driven to achieve, conquer and attain because we assume it will make us feel OK in some way. While all of the diverse displays of human behavior stem from our desires to be accepted, important, worthwhile, respected, desired, loved, enough, etc, we usually think of our emotions as secondary to our goals.
Prioritizing what we want to achieve verses how we’d like to feel actually impedes our creations because our vision for ourselves is tangible, it’s finite, and it has limits even if we aren’t aware of those limits. Our vision for self is a reflection of the social framework we’ve soaked up from our families, our friends, and the powerful programming that informs us what it means to be a man or woman in our society.
This isn’t say, just sit around on your couch and think about being happy and you will be. It’s to underscore that many of the achievements and attainments our mainstream culture promotes as the answer to our happiness, don’t deliver genuine happiness at all, so it’s up to us to get clear on how we want to feel, so our creations are aligned with those desires.
With this understanding I wrote a list in no particular order, folded it up, and tucked it away in a inside a drawer.
5. In Love
12. Like I’m making a contribution
I had no idea how powerful this declaration would be. At first I didn’t correlate this simple list with the sudden changes in my life, but after enduring a nearly month long energy release (what most people call the flu), watching relationships collapse and roads diverge, I started to wonder if perhaps my life was being rearranged to support the ways in which I wanted to feel?
Sure enough this leveling process in my life birthed an entirely new cycle, flush with present time alignments. After a period of seemingly painful destruction, my life began to flourish with new friendships, creative opportunities, and life’s ever elusive – inspiration. Most importantly, the demolition of the old, allowed me to make recognition of the things in my life that don’t support how I want to feel, making it easier to let go of old patterns and beliefs.
While this goes against everything our mainstream culture promotes, I’m increasingly reminded if I want something I’ve never had, I’ve got to be willing to do things I’ve never done.
If you haven’t done this simple exercise, I encourage you turn your compass to your deepest desires and discover the infinite ways that your life will expand.
How do you create your life? Do you set directives based on how you want to feel? I’d love to hear about your experience!
Featured image by Feyoga